2005-04-20
girly-pirate.diaryland.com
Username/Title: [1/5] GIRLY PIRATE? ”I had just read 'Pirates' by Celia Rees, so when I didn't get any one of the other usernames I wanted, and I wanted an English one, it got like it got.” Do explain - you’re telling me that you read a book on pirates and were looking for a username, but since they were all taken you used PIRATES? Yeah, okay, I get that, but what the HELL does GIRLY have to do with this? Is there supposed to be a hidden message like – I am a pirate who is a girl? Lack of profundity and creativity.
First Impression: [3/10] Grey and white. I don’t know if you learnt this in Norway, but GREY usually symbolises boredom, dullness and lack of excitement. And that’s exactly what came to my mind when I saw your diary.
That image reminds me of the Harlem of suburbia. Not good.
Layout: [5/10] You get a 5 for having a browser compatible layout, and you lost marks for having an ugly layout. I dislike the font, as it is too crowded. The image is bleak and so is the rest of the layout. And why are your links red when hovered over? Is there a reason for this contrasting display?
Content: [18/40] First entry killed me, honestly. “ Nobody understand me.” What is all this about? You feel misunderstood and alone? Yeah, right.
“Yesterday, I meet this really cool guy in a chat room, but when I saw him on the webcam, he was really ugly. Like.. yuck!” Do you want to know what came to my mind when I saw that, after reading paragraphs about you and your finding of God and your happiness with writing? FAKE. It screamed FAKE right at my face. I was just getting settled into this world of clichéd delicacy that you had created then BAM, you smack into my face the word “yuck”. Please.
Wow, the pathetic ramblings of a young mind- you must be a real bitch if you judge people solely on their looks, you moron. ‘Yuck’?. And so I’m assuming you must think that you’re a real grand work of art, hey? HOW FUCKING VAIN CAN YOU GET? (rhetorical question, just in case you didn’t realise.)
I can’t remember what those lines going through your entries are called, but get rid of them. If you think they're highly attractive sitting there on your journal - then they’re not. If they're there to indicate a new topic in your entry, then why don’t you just do double paragraphs or try LINKING those topics together by using words like – oh fuck it, I’m not your teacher, figure it out yourself.
“It didn't affect me so much, but I get depressed anyway, thinking that no one likes me.” - So, it did not affect you but you got depressed? That doesn’t even make sense, Norwegian girl.
My problem is that I don't know who I am, and therefore I don't know when I am myself either. I understood that – surprisingly. I get what you’re saying by not knowing who you are in order to know when you are yourself. WOW, you’re making sense to me.
“ Maybe all I want is the screw him and then go home and be able to brag for all my friends in the cantina.” Damn, you superficial idiot. Remind me again why you’re asking for a review.
Uhhh… It was a real bliss? WHAT THE FUCK? You went ecstatic over your dream diary? Loser.
Oh, and hey if you ever find that you can not express what you’re feeling, save it for when you actually can. Don’t waste the internet space. “I've started to realise one thing. At least today: I'm popular. I have friends in the grades both over and under me.” Yeah, at least you’re popular, so GOOD FOR YOU. At least you’re not going to be alone at lunch and have no friends. Life is perfect isn’t it, you stereotypical-phrase-using fake person. ”Inside my mind I'm an outsider.” Whoah, hang on a second, I thought you were popular? So, why are you saying that inside your MIND you are an outsider? You suck. ”I'm a bimbo. All I really want is a boyfriend. I'm really not satisfied with myself. I suck.” Shit, I just saw that and by far, it is the best statement you have made all day. YOU SUCK.
Okay time to wrap this section up - I’ll ignore all of your Norwegian entries, emotionalised woes of your life and your hideous grammar, but I won’t ignore the fact that your ‘pretty’ entries on your journey to self-discovery are pretty stupid indeed (to me anyway). Your content may be excellent if half the time I could comprehend what you are trying to say, but seeing as I do not, you fail in this compartment. I think you’re smart, eloquent and all, but you should just lighten up. God knows, you’re still a teenager and you’re acting like you’re on the brink of death. Fucking lighten up okay? Good luck.
Spelling and Grammar: [6/25] ” I dont think she realise. She argues about everything, and I am the only one knowing her secrets. It hurts me. I think her father is violent, I know it deep inside, she has to be her wife when at his house, cooking and caring for her little brothers. She wont let me help mentally, and it hurts.” That is the first entry and look at what I found. Horrible grammar. HORRIBLE.
“You body, your face.”, “I thaught”, “Maybe all I want is the screw him and then go home and be able to brag for all my friends in the cantina” “giggeling”
I read your profile and seeing as you are Norwegian, I did not want to pick on petty mistakes, but then you know what? If you can spell words like ‘screw, masturbation and porn’, there really is no excuse to fuck up on words like ‘thought and giggling’. Anyway, you get 6 marks for this section, because I took into account your education (or lack thereof)
Disagree there. You’re a stupid bitch immersed in such a horrible world of bullshit. I don’t care where you live, you’re a fuckwit.
Our link: [4/5] You have our link, but it’s not working because of Diaryland. Maybe you should just change them to the usual
Until then, your score remains as a 4 , and of you which you can inform me when it is fixed up – ta.
Extras/Contact:[3/5]. Cast, facts on Norway, profile, dream diary (which doesn’t work) and diary rings. The ‘facts on Norway’ was definitely something different, but if that was the best you could do then shoot me dead. Try adding something more interesting into your extras.
What(We Think)Your Age Is: 80, you're on your end-of-life crisis. The journey is over.
Zero, even though that is scientifically impossible. In a perfect world, people like you wouldn’t have been born.
Reviewed by: KIMB
Italics by: JEN
fig8-reviews at 4:43 p.m.